El Chato Matta came to the restaurant for a pot of pachamanca with beef, chicken, native potatoes, broad beans, corn and his ground ajicito with huacatay. Then a warm emollient was requested to lower the fat. “María, after Peru’s triumph over Chile, I received an urgent call from Pancholón. The fat boy was euphoric and yelled at me: ‘Chatito, you are my brother, come down right now, we are with heavy people, businessmen, judges and lawyers. Closed circuit. I have several XOs, we are who we are, the pampa is for everyone, give me what I give you … ‘.
‘Cause, I’m already saving to go to the next World Cup in Qatar. I have faith, but I don’t think I will surpass the happiness, the loves that I lived in Russia 2018. Especially with my love, my Russian Irisa ‘. The lawyers of Callao, already minced, asked: ‘Count, count Panchito, count everything.’
‘Well, I arrived at the beaches of Sochi, on the Black Sea, in a winning plan, with my spectacular bluetooth speaker, my shorts, my white and red t-shirt, my sunglasses and I placed a tremendous Zaperoko sauce,’ Bad woman, no He has a heart ‘, and I rehearsed my best dance steps in the sand, remembering my best early mornings in’ La Furia Chalaca ‘,’ La Ensenada ‘and’ La Ley ‘. In that I saw that a blonde with sky eyes and with a heart attack thong looked at me between smiling and curious.
At the touch I took out my latest range cell phone and put my application ‘Russian-Spanish dictionary’, I approached him and said in Russian: Are you dancing? The big woman reddened and people made me bar. She smiled and we went out into the ring. I became Jim Carrey in ‘The Mask’, falling in love with Cameron Diaz’s mommy at the point of parking on the dance floor.
He was grabbing her waist and lower still, and the blonde was pure giggle, flirtatious, beautiful. I was whispering in her ear the only word I had learned to compliment Russians: ‘Krasota, krasota’ (beauty, beauty) and I gave her a little kiss on the ear and the doll shook.
THE NARRATION OF PANCHOLÓN
‘I’m going to tell you about the imaginary end of the World Cup between Peru and Russia: My Peru is leaving, dominating the Pancholón ball, starts running, starts to sting, passes the half court and a beautiful Russian appears, and commits an infraction , a direct iron to the heart, and Panchito falls to the ground, looks at her and falls in loveaaaaa … goooollll !! ‘.
‘EL SALTO DEL CHANCHITO’
I translated my narration into Russian and the beauty yelled at me: ‘Long live the Perrrú !!’, she gave me a cap and invited me to her apartment. In the bedroom I raised the name of Peru with my famous ‘jump of the pig’, which made their cries be heard all the way to Siberia. The problems began when she, who worked in a bank, told me: ‘Panchito, stay in my apartment, so that every night he tells me more games, but they have a lot of goals.’
He was insatiable. I sang the firm: ‘My love, I’m already on base five and I can only tell you games on weekends.’ The blonde became the ‘crazy lioness’ demanding to be left lame. In the end he got away with his pleasure and the World Cup ended, but he had me ‘kidnapped’ for another month and I had to escape without saying goodbye.
In Lima I got ugly. A ‘broken shoe’ recorded me making out in a great way in a nightclub and uploaded the video. I lost by a landslide. My wife threw me out and I had to stay at the beach house of my friend, the magistrate ‘”. Pucha, that Pancholón is a pig and scoundrel, and he still tells everyone about it. I’m leaving, take care.
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