S.write a style criticism again! is what my dear colleagues keep saying. And we poor style department prisoners also dutifully click on every link that is sent to us. Who we shouldn’t write everything about: Dieter Bohlen with (!) Carina, uff. Robert Habeck among friends, uh, horses, well. A dancing TikTok miracle, phew. All of them are not stylistically appealing enough for us, sorry! An ex-Federal Chancellor in a vest has to ride along so that our fingers twitch at least tentatively towards the keyboard. Or, as in this case, a real American celebrity travels to the cloudy regions of Bonn. Yes, you read that right, American (!) Celebrity (!). Celebrity alert in what was once the most important and unfortunately the most boring city on the Rhine these days, Ba-Da-Bonn, because there is nobody else around than Mr. Ryan Gosling himself. Screech!
Dear ladies (and, of course, gentlemen, if necessary) from North Rhine-Westphalia, quickly, on, pack your power bank so that the battery doesn’t run out, find the most beautiful and safest mouth and nose protection you have – and off to Bonn, on best with the express train. Because somewhere there, Mr. Gosling wanders lonely through the streets, in a trench coat and with that dreamy look that only Gosling has on it, almost as if he was just waiting to take a few selfies with his lady of love in the quaint alleys of the university town, preferably in front of the Regina Pacis at the University Palace. Ah!
But wait! The gosling is a fake. Because there is still someone who can look at it, this gosling-I’m-hot-and-somehow-sad-about-look, and it’s none other than Joe Laschet. Uh, Joe who? Exactly, Joe Laschet, “son of …”. In this case, North Rhine-Westphalia’s Prime Minister Armin Laschet, who, one might think, was responsible for choosing the name of his offspring all american has gone. But nothing! The name is, just like the Gosling, a fake, his real name is Johannes, was a law student until recently and that is what he looks like at second glance. An artist scarf here, a pipe there, a man’s hat and of course the obligatory suit all the time: Laschet gives the impression of a law student with a rich daddy who likes to go to some silly gentlemen’s club on Instagram, where he is followed by more than 93,000 accounts wants to be included, in which women are forbidden, apart of course from the waitresses, who give themselves the stupid sayings of the club visitors and have to smile about it, because at least there is a big tip afterwards.
At lunchtime, Joe would call out to his fellow law students, who have to whistle their fluffy lasagna in the cafeteria, “I’m going to the club for lunch,” and that would say everything you need to know about him. In truth, however, Laschet is considered cautious and polite, is said to have lived in a disdainful shared apartment in Bonn and his girlfriend takes the Instagram snob pictures of him. Image is everything.
Should there still be a need to go to Bonn to look at the fake Ryan and the real Joe, then the RB48 will certainly do the same, or, to be completely honest, the Mittelrhein-Bahn, and for the dear security and the expensive ones For the sake of health, dear readers, you can wait until you have been vaccinated before driving.
Recently, Armin Laschet has also relied on his son’s sense of style, Ryan Gosling for poor Bonners. His son knows his way around the textile industry, Laschet announced, and accordingly he naturally asked him for advice when it came to choosing a company that would provide masks for all of North Rhine-Westphalia. Coincidentally, as one would say in English, Joe Ryan Läshet also had a number ready from the Mönchengladbach-based fashion manufacturer van Laack, which the state then commissioned with a million-dollar deal. To what extent does an “Enthusiast of Classic Menswear” (Joe’s self-description on Instagram) know about medical protective masks and gowns? For free! The deal was fixed.
Fortunately, Joe Laschet is not despondent about these circumstances, he continues to happily post photos of himself in sedate tweed coats and beige suit vests, on which he brings out his gosling gaze, i.e. looks into the distance and suggests that he is thinking of who knows what – love, life, money, connections. And of course it would be mean to jump to conclusions, but it is interesting that the son of Armin Laschet, the Rhineland man of the people, can afford tailor-made suits to the dismissal. On the other hand: He is by no means an isolated case among Bonn law students. And of course not among influencers either.