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Emma Amour: «Child, the breasts! They don’t last forever! “




image: shutterstock / watson

Emma Amour

OK. My mother, my aunt, and many of my friends who already have potatoes are concerned. Worried about my future. So they panic. A phenomenon for which I can only think of one thing: Down with it!

Emma Amour

I am satisfied with my breasts. They are not too big and they are not too small. Okay, the right one is biz bigger than the left one. But if you don’t know, you don’t see it. Even if.

So I’m really very okay with my breasts. And in this case the breasts stand for the relationship with myself.

I have to go back a little: last Sunday at my uncle’s birthday party, my aunt reminded me that the bio clock is ticking. «Child, the breasts! They don’t last forever! », she said to me. She always says this sentence. At Christmas, Easter, on birthdays. Even at funerals.

The aunt just wants to see me under the hood before the boobs hang. Because: Nobody wants women with hanging boobs. She thinks. My mother sees it similarly. Perhaps she puts it a bit more discreetly. But the key message is the same.

Already clear. Now, age-wise, I’ve reached the place where most of the people make potatoes, many even the second or third, and I’m getting married. I like it. If it fits. What I don’t think is so great: Why do most who settle down think that settling down is the real deal? And who does not settle down and forcibly end up as a crazy cat lady?

I don’t even like cats. I have nothing against them. I just don’t want her at home. Not on my sofa, not in my bathroom, and certainly not in my bed.

That’s not the only reason I’m not afraid of becoming a crazy cat lady. I am simply not very afraid for my future per se. I believe that when everything revolves around the future, you miss the present. I am also sure that fear of the future often leads to getting involved with someone who is okay, but not “the one”.

Fate is already checking what it’s doing!

I also believe in predestination. Encounters that come about by chance are not, in my opinion,. I believe that at the end of the day, fate will bring people together who belong together. How many “wrong partners” cross our paths before that varies from person to person. But that’s not a bad thing either. I have had tremendously good times with many “wrong” men.

And if my fate thinks that it will take a few more Mister Wrongs before my finale grande, then that’s completely okay. I still have many years that I can spend with the one.

Logo, at some point it will be difficult to produce with potatoes. But I haven’t got there yet. So why panic now when, according to my gynecologist (at least not yet) panic is not necessary?

Back to my aunt. I want to know when it’s too late and why? And what about all those who do not settle for me until after 40. And what about those who never settle down and are happy with it? Or with people who decide against potatoes and have zero stress?

The aunt, okay, she’s 72, doesn’t think much of any of this. Different generation, different ambitions. As much as I understand her, I wish she’d just open up her point of view a little.

The man who makes me cry!

As I have my wine glass refilled at the bar, I hear a very familiar voice that I could no longer love:

“Take a look around, heart. Aunt Irene and Uncle Fredy, he cheated on them for years. Look back there, Karl and Paula. She still resents him today for never being there when the children were little. There is so much frustration. “




I smile and lean on the shoulder that goes with that voice.

«And now to the younger generation. In the back left we have cousin Andrea, two potatoes, zero love between her and the potato dad. And Andreas brother Thomas has Silvia and dog Köbi and a nice apartment in Kloten. But I’ll tell you one thing, both Silvia and Thomas would secretly like to swap places with you. “

We toast to each other.

«You know, honey, and I know that you know that, the most important relationship is that with yourself. You’re the only person you’ll have to endure with until the end of your days. That is why it is so important that you are comfortable with yourself, that you love each other. That you are basically in a good mood and that you love yourself. You do. You probably don’t love yourself as tightly as I love you, but you love yourself. Everything is good. Emma, ​​everything is fine. Your very personal happy ending is in sight. “

Okay, now it’s getting cheesy: two tears roll down my cheeks.

Then the voice I love so much asks one question: “How is Suff-SMS-Sandro actually?”

Well, thank you for asking, dear papa. Suff-SMS-Sandro is tip-top.

Adieu,

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PS: Emma Amour is now also available as a book!

«EMMA AMOUR AND KID CLEO – love, sex and other escapades»

Emma and Cleo are available as a book! >>

Sex mishaps, lovesickness and crazy dates: Nobody in Switzerland tells as authentically and bluntly as Emma Amour. Since January 2018, the Zurich native has been letting watson users participate in her life. When she takes a break, her best friend Cleo steps in.

Emma and Cleo couldn’t be more different, but what connects them: a sometimes fantastic, sometimes frustrating, but never boring love and sex life.

You can order the new book here >>

Information about the book
Editor: watson
Release date: February 12, 2021
ISBN: 978-3-03902-124-6
Binding: paperback with flap
Extent: 160 pages, 8 illustrations
Format: 13.5 x 21

Book price
CHF 18.00 (CH)
EUR 18.00 (D)
EUR 19.00 (A)

Emma Amour is …

… City dweller, single, mid-30s – and watson’s blogger, who not only reports blatantly about her love life, but also takes care of your questions. And don’t worry: you will remain anonymous with your questions – just like Emma. For Madame Amour it is very important to be able to continue to hop undercover in training pants to the Indian man across the street.

It's not me, but that's what I would look like as an illustration.  Öppe.

It’s not me, but that’s what I would look like as an illustration. Öppe.

picture: watson


Arjun Sethi
Passionate guitarist, gamer and writer. Lives for the perfect review, and scrapes texts until they are razor-sharp.
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