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Emma Amour: How Instagram Advertising Dating Deluxe Wants to Teach Me




As I scroll through my Insta feed the other day, I come across an ad that I click on. She promises that my next date will be “totally exciting” and “successful”.

05.08.2021, 10:0705.08.2021, 10:58

Emma Amour

The headline promises a lot. It says “21 questions so that the first date is not a failure”. I click on it. And end up on some side I don’t know. But she just wants to know what it takes to score points in dating.

I ended up here via Instagram advertising – and got stuck. But because I’m not actively dating at the moment*, I can’t test the promise live right now.

But since I have Glückskind this blog (Merci, Lina, thank you, Mo!), I answer the questions before. Then I can just send the link to this column to the next dude I’m dating.

So, ready? Go!

1. Do you prefer to tell or prefer to listen?
I don’t want to pee on your leg at the very beginning, but can you answer such a question in general? Depends enormously on the interlocutor.

2. Are you excited?
I put myself in the dating situation. Logo I’m excited. I have no idea how this ends. At best, on a Hollywood swing on the porch in 40 years. But maybe we also find ourselves very casual, but harmonize in bed but zero. Or we harmonize in bed and not otherwise. Or I fall in love with you hardcore while you end up marrying my cousin or something.

3. How important is it to you to see your family regularly? 10/10. I have a funny-warm-crazy family.

4. If you could pick a famous person to have dinner with, who would it be? You can also name someone who has died. Ryan Gosling. Not Sry.

5. What special talents do you have?
I can do the balancing act. And I make it on 9 out of 10 flights to very cool places. How I do that, I can’t say in general. I can also Hula Hoop. And someone who knows me well says I can kiss beautifully enduringly.

6. Where did you have the last fit of laughter?
A friend’s potato recently undressed naked in the restaurant. We were very busy talking that we didn’t notice. So the potato stood naked and ate a Weggli. A picture for eternity.

7. What was the most beautiful thing you experienced today?
The Pain au Chocolat at the Lieblingsbeck this morning was still warm, the chocolate almost liquid.

8. Are you more spontaneous or do you like to plan ahead?
It’s very simple: spontaneous!

9. If you were an animal, which one would you be?
A bird, of course. Flying must be very horny. Imagine the view everywhere. And nowhere never traffic jams.

10. What are you doing in 2030?
Breed sloths. Paint my beach bar turquoise. Play with my potatoes «Lueged nöd ume, dä Fuchs gaht ume». Suff-SMS-Sandro do not marry.

11. What was your favorite show as a child?
Beverly Hills 90210. Melrose Place. Baywatch (because of Cody). A terribly nice family. Prince of Bel Air. And yes, logo, Three Angels for Charlie. And a bit The price is hot. I miss you, Mr Harry Wijnvoord.

12. What did you want to be when you were little?
Large.

13. What is it worth spending money on?
Condoms.

14. What annoys you about other people and why?
Greed. Miserliness. Narcissism. Unreliability. Disloyalty. The why is superfluous, right?

15. The last picture you took with your phone?
It was a selfie. I out of bed. From below. It is perhaps the worst image there is of me. Cleo, Sophie and I make fun of sending each other very bad selfies.




16. What does a “perfect” day look like for you?
It starts without an alarm clock. And ends up a bit overeased by a very Znacht. In between bath, sun, sex, nude bathing, music, sea breeze, iced coffee, cuddling, Vespa driving. Do you have a Vespa? Or can you patch Vespas? Mine is dead!

17. If you woke up tomorrow and could have a new skill or trait, what would it be?
Now seriously. Don’t you find our imaginary date totally corrosive right now and exhausting?

18. If you could look to the future, would you like to read the end of the book that tells the story of your life?
No. Except there it says that Ryan Gosling fell to his knees in front of me after the night of question 4, we celebrated a dream wedding, got two dream potatoes and live in a dream villa in Los Angeles until the end of our days. And that we are even more missed on the last day than on the first.

19. For you personally, what is the greatest thing you have achieved so far?
I know what Snowy’s real name is.

20. What was your last trip?
Isn’t it much more exciting to ponder where this journey is leading us?

21. If money didn’t matter, what would you treat yourself to?
A swimming pool. I have been dreaming of my own swimmig pool since I was a child. I expand to include a garden and a very house. And a car in sky blue. A small, cool one. Maybe I’d rather have a big one. But let’s not kid ourselves, parking with a huge body sucks.

* I don’t date because I’m kind of frustrated. Or because I finished dating Tinder. Haha. It’s much simpler: I’m still sleeping with and with SSMSS right now. And because it’s just as casual as it is, I don’t want anything else.

Adieu

PS: Emma Amour is now also available as a book!

«EMMA AMOUR AND KID CLEO – Love, Sex and Other Escapades»

Emma and Cleo are available as a book! >>

Sex breakdowns, heartache and crazy dates: No one in Switzerland tells as authentically and bluntly as Emma Amour. Since January 2018, the Zurich native has been letting watson users participate in her life. When she takes a break, her best friend Cleo jumps in.

Emma and Cleo could not be more different, but what unites them: a sometimes fantastic, at times frustrating, but never boring love and sex life.

Here you can order the new book >>

Information about the book
Publisher: watson
Release date: 12.02.2021
ISBN: 978-3-03902-124-6
Cover: soft cover with flap
Volume: 160 pages, 8 illustrations
Format: 13.5 x 21

Book Price
CHF 18.00 (CH)
EUR 18.00 (D)
EUR 19.00 (A)

“An incredible number of people in Switzerland are in open relationships”

Video: watson/Melina Bokop, Emily Engkent

Emma Amour is …

… City person, single, in her mid-30s – and watson’s blogger, who not only brazably reports on her love life, but also takes care of your questions. And don’t worry: you will remain anonymous with your questions – just like Emma. It is very important to Madame Amour to continue to be able to hop undercover in trainer pants quickly across the street to the Indian.

That's not me, but that's what I would look like as an illustration. Öppe.

That’s not me, but that’s what I would look like as an illustration. Öppe.

image: watson


Arjun Sethi
Passionate guitarist, gamer and writer. Lives for the perfect review, and scrapes texts until they are razor-sharp.
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