Six things that suck about being a woman
The other day I’m sitting on the balcony with Sophie and Cleo. While we work our tan lines, we talk about facts where Mother – Nature Pardon – took the shot.
I’m still inspired. From the date/sex with Suff-SMS-Sandro. And because that’s the case, we’ve spent the last few days/nights and re-birding what we haven’t been doing for the last few months.
We’ve also now reached a point where it’s okay to stay after sex. And to cuddle. And that’s very easy to find.
So I’m in a maximum good mood at the moment.
In contrast to Cleo. She finds life the last. Her heart was broken twice in a row. In addition, she says, her hips have grown in circumference, while her breasts are said to have shrunk. Sophie and I don’t see any of it. As good friends, we still suffer.
Emigrating or getting married, that’s the question here!
Sophie, by the way, is also not so zen. She doesn’t know if she wants to get married or emigrate alone to the other side of the world, where she could open a sloth sanctuary.
So all day we sit on my balcony in the sun, talking, singing, hating and laughing. And because Cleo thinks we should write down the hatred and then eliminate it, that’s exactly what I did. So here’s a snippet of our list of things we find shit about being a woman. The order is pure coincidence.
1. Changing rooms
It doesn’t matter what store you’re in. The locker room is always the enemy. The reasons are simple: there are always these mirrors that impose a 360-degree view on you. Our lives were tip-top before we knew what we looked like from the side and from behind. Next-level hate here: Bikini fitting and changing room. Nuff said.
2. The latent fear
When we walk home alone at night, there is always a bit of an uneasy feeling. Just so easy chilled walk and sound loose? Not a chance. We are too busy checking out that there is no danger lurking, no one is running after us and/or stupid. In the end, it’s simple: we are physically the weaker sex. And that’s annoying sometimes.
Sophie finds it nasty that men become more attractive, wiser and more exciting in old age, while women are beautiful, sexy and worth a sin, especially in the prime of their youth. Sophie is afraid that at some point she will be replaced by an enormously much younger woman. One whose breasts and buttocks are still tight. And that without her having to rack up during sports.
4. The menstrual cup
In our environment, tampons are frowned upon. Doesn’t need any more. Not good for the environment. Blah Blah. All have a menstrual cup. We also tried one. While washing out her cup, Sophie has turned a public toilet into a scene like from a splatter movie. Everyone could watch her. Cleo was unable to release the vacuum with her cup. She already wanted to go to the emergency gynecologist, when it worked out with a lot of noise. My menstrual cup experience isn’t shameful either: it just doesn’t keep what it promises. Or I just don’t buckle.
It’s super simple. The same work should be paid equally. Shit doesn’t matter if it’s exercised by a woman or a man. In my circle, men all earn more than their colleagues. There is no single reason to justify these circumstances. Nor is the fact that “women get more tips because they are women”.
6. Hormone booms
The other day we watched the SRF “Reporter” “No more period shame”. After all, it’s great that we’re talking about the mens. That real period blood is shown in the film, you can do, but you don’t have to, we think in unison. We wish we talked more about hormones than about the blood. After all, blood is one thing. The crass. Much more blatant, however, are the monthly hormone rushes, which often drive us to the brink of madness during a cycle. Melancholy during PMS, Weltschmerz during the Mens and listlessness afterwards. These are the hormones. We would like to see more understanding and clarification!
We thought about whether we should also include “giving the potato into the world” on the list. We decided against it. We know all not what it is like to squeeze a child out of oneself. But we all believe that it is a wonderful gift to be able to give birth to a potato. Even if it hurts (Haha!) biz.
So. Cleo and Sophie are doing better now. I’m fine anyway. I’m still in the Suff-SMS-Sandro-High.
Cleo says I should write that watson readers should add to our list. “Then we print everything out, burn all the shit and dance solemnly around the fire.”
Sophie, meanwhile, wants to know what men think about being a man.
Meanwhile, I want to turn the tables in the hormone high: What is the great thing about being a woman? What is the thing about being a typo?
«EMMA AMOUR AND KID CLEO – Love, Sex and Other Escapades»
Sex breakdowns, heartache and crazy dates: No one in Switzerland tells as authentically and bluntly as Emma Amour. Since January 2018, the Zurich native has been letting watson users participate in her life. When she takes a break, her best friend Cleo jumps in.
Emma and Cleo could not be more different, but what unites them: a sometimes fantastic, at times frustrating, but never boring love and sex life.
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Information about the book
Release date: 12.02.2021
Cover: soft cover with flap
Volume: 160 pages, 8 illustrations
Format: 13.5 x 21
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Hairy things that probably all women know in the summer
Our thoughts when we go home alone at night
Emma Amour is …
… City person, single, in her mid-30s – and watson’s blogger, who not only brazably reports on her love life, but also takes care of your questions. And don’t worry: you will remain anonymous with your questions – just like Emma. It is very important to Madame Amour to continue to be able to hop undercover in trainer pants quickly across the street to the Indian.
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