Why Taylor Swift, Emily Dickinson descent results reignite Bills-Chiefs rivalry

If you’re like me, Ancestry.com’s announcement on Monday that Taylor Swift is distantly related to poet Emily Dickinson made you go “Oh it’s on!” to a nearby Chiefs fan as the latest fighting words in the Bills-Chiefs rivalry. But if the connection isn’t immediately obvious, allow me to spell it out.

When the Bills took on the Chiefs in their most recent contest in the 2023 AFC Divisional Playoffs, much was made of the fact that each team boasted A-list celebrities in their fanbases. You may have heard that Taylor Swift is dating Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce. Bills quarterback Josh Allen, meanwhile, is cooking up his own steamy relationship with actress/singer Hailee Steinfeld.

Now Monday’s DNA results add a new wrinkle to the grudge match. Steinfeld, you see, portrays legendary poet Emily Dickinson in the Apple TV+ series Dickinson. So the news that the real Emily Dickinson is related to Taylor Swift is a real slap in the face to Josh Allen and the Bills mafia because it is believed that if Emily Dickinson were alive today she would be a part of the Chiefs Kingdom by virtue of Taylor. Swift connection.

This could be the logic of the concussion, or the result of slamming into too many folding tables at the Bills’ pre-game tailgating, but the people who are still keeping celebrity score with me now are the Chiefs Kingdom, with the power duo of Taylor Swift and Emily Dickinson. While Bill’s Mafia can only claim a fake Emily Dickinson.

Speaking to Bills fans everywhere, if we want to even score, we’d better have Ancestry.com find Hailee Steinfeld’s genetic link to someone more influential than Taylor Swift and Emily Dickinson combined — and fast. Maybe the Beatles? Or Buffalo Bill Cody? Oh, William Shakespeare would be a fire if we could! Get over it you genealogy mad scientists, the clock is ticking until the next NFL season.