Solar. Thus is Martha (1). Her smile illuminates the room in which we find her in Saint-Raphael in the heart of dry January, her humor illuminates the defense. However, this petite 45-year-old has hidden her dark side. A dark side that she hid for a long time in alcohol. “I wanted to forget my life”She faded into a neutral tone.
Today, Martha is doing well. The last time she drank was on August 20, 2023. Since then, she attends the Raphael branch of Alcoholics Anonymous every week. It is there that she tells the group that welcomed her with open arms, without judgment, about the difficult path that led her here.
“I was thirsty for one of those!”
And it goes way back. In the summer when Martha, just an adult, loses her brother and her best friend in a car accident. “I was always a party girl, but then I started drinking more. I was thirsty from one of them! That’s all that went through, not even water.” The girl then gets drunk to assuage her grief. This is his first serious contact with alcohol. It lasts three months.
Then, for seven years, Martha rarely drank. But his life is not bright. “I used to hang out with bad people…”, she summarizes, to express the kidnapping, the violence, the abduction that the two subsequent men put her through. At that time there was no question of alcohol.
At the age of 25, the girl managed to get herself out of these situations. To distance herself from her mother and sister, with whom she also has a difficult relationship, she leaves the region. When she returned in 2008, her path crossed again“a poisonous person”. “He harassed me, followed me…” To sleep, Martha starts drinking again. But again, it stops once the situation returns to normal. “When I stopped, I was fine.”she explains.
failover
It was in November 2015 that the real descent into alcohol hell began for Martha. At that time his sister died of pulmonary embolism. “She drank herself, explains QuadraI thought he would win.” After that he starts drinking seriously again, “As in homage (her) sister”. First with friends, then alone. “My consumption has never been daily, She clarifies. They were drunk. I felt like I needed my fix. To put my life on hold.”
Over time, the time between each cooking decreases. From 2022, Martha drinks three liters of wine per week in two installments. “I hated myself the way an alcoholic hates you.” But it is the consequences of their work in mass distribution that most affect their dignity. “No one commented on me, but at that time, I had a gastro every month, I was often absent. And then, I started making stupid mistakes and it was nothing. Not me: I was a real pro. I am and I do my job well”she says, as if still upset.
Last spring, she decided to take the path of abstinence, start a diet and resume sports. And get drunk less often. However, she had drunk the evening she contacted Alcoholics Anonymous by telephone. “I came across incredibly kind people, I realized, it was like affection on my heart.” We give him the contact details of the woman who will be his godmother.
Anonymous pride
Today, Martha feels “Incredibly good”: “I have lost forty kilos, I have clarity of mind, my brain is sharp and I can no longer forget anything. I have made peace with my mother. She is proud of me.” She is also proud of herself. Pride is still the candle she feels she owes to Alcoholics Anonymous. “I couldn’t have made it without them.” She explains: “It’s important to hear certain things to understand that this disease affects everyone.”
Even Martha knows that overturning is possible. She is afraid of him. Especially if a new tragedy were to arise in his life. So he sticks to Alcoholics Anonymous. “Like an oyster to its rock”, she laughs, putting on a local accent that cuts with a knife. and branding his phone and application that allows him to count down the days of his sobriety. On this Thursday in January, Martha said she hadn’t had a drink in four months, twenty-two days and five hours.
1. At his request, his first name was changed.
Learn more
To find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, contact the Crystal number (non-premium rate) 09.69.39.40.20.
