Do celebrities stay private anymore?

Last fall Meryl Streep announced that she and her husband Don Gummer had separated — and, unknown to all but their inner circle, had been for more than six years. The news came during Jada Pinkett Smith’s book tour, during which she revealed that—passionate public displays of devotion aside—she and husband Will Smith had been living separately since 2016. The biggest revelation of all: it’s still possible to keep a secret. .

In an age when it seems like everyone from A-listers to middle schoolers are constantly baring their souls on social media, the idea that people—even those who bask in the public eye—are able to keep aspects of their lives private is something. There is relief. At the same time, is discretion really still within our control, especially for people with a public profile, or are those now rare occurrences the result of pure luck? Many days passed when FDR was able to keep the fact that he used a wheelchair hidden from the public. But conversations with behind-the-scenes imagemakers (the public, journalists, and social observers of all kinds) reveal that there are more strategies than ever to hide secrets in plain sight. Welcome to the Privacy Playbook.

Think Jennifer Aniston. When was the last time you heard a rumor about it? Her public appearances are carefully orchestrated; Her access is tightly controlled. Last winter, when she revealed in an interview that she spent her late thirties and forties trying to have a baby, it was news to her legions of fans, who may have speculated on such things but never until she made the decision. There was no piece of information. To give it. “I think it’s hilarious when someone complains that they just want to be left alone. OK, Greta Garbo!” says former Page Six reporter Paula Froelich, now an on-air correspondent for NewsNation. “If you want to stay under the radar, you absolutely can.”

But how?

First, a warning: It’s hard to switch gears and suddenly retreat into privacy when it suits you. “If you want to be private, you have to be private to begin with,” says one A-list Hollywood publicist. That means distancing yourself from social media, or even turning it off completely. For boldface names, that means avoiding places where paparazzi are known to linger, like Giorgio Baldi or the Ivy in Los Angeles, or Via Carota in New York, and the expensive protection that comes with hiring a personal publicist.

Indeed, the train New York Daily News Gossip columnist Ben Widdicombe says, “The more powerful a name you are, the more the personal publicist’s role becomes that of a gatekeeper—keeping you out of the public eye. Most citizens believe that a publicist’s job is to publicize their client and get their name out there, but once you’ve achieved a certain level of success, a publicist makes the name a more exclusive commodity, placing it in fewer places, adding a mystery, and the client’s. keeping secrets.

The truth is that now more than ever there are things that famous people – unknown to the rest of us – keep under wraps. There are still old secrets like cheating and drug abuse, but these days plastic surgery and related appearance enhancers are also at the top of the list – ozepic use chief among them. “There are very specific hotels that people go to for plastic surgery and maintenance, and the times they go, and the length of stay, are carefully regulated,” says the A-list publicist.

Pregnancy secrets have been all the rage recently – witness Paris Hilton give birth to a baby less than a year later, surprising even her family (which, of course, made for fantastic television). Kylie Jenner never confirmed reports about her first pregnancy until after she gave birth to her daughter Stormi; Mindy Kaling announced that she had a second child seven weeks after her birth and has never said who the children’s biological father is. (In 2000 Melissa Etheridge memorably revealed that the sperm donor for her two children with partner Julie Cypher was David Crosby, saying, “We’re just tired of the mystery.”)

As PR people have long planted rumors for promotional purposes (Widdicombe recalls that when As good as it gets Turns out, the publicists “spread the rumor that Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton were having an affair on set, which was not true as far as I could tell”), they are also masters of misdirection. If a client has a story they don’t want out, a good publicist knows that people can be distracted by something else—although, says one publicist, “gone are the days when you could horse-trade.” (ie, offer a specific gossip item to the press in exchange for not printing something else). Instead, “a lot of it is about messaging and a different narrative. Sometimes you can be like, ‘Squirrel! Look here!’ “

For example, this publicist says, “We recently had two very famous people who were having an affair who got stuck in a hotel, and we had two other very famous people walk out the front door, and the illegitimate couple walked out the back. . ” Froelich says, “There’s an entrance behind every major space. So for people who are caught ‘accidentally’ walking out of Sunset Tower, San Vicente Bungalows – that’s baloney.

“There are plenty of red herrings thrown at other things or other clients,” adds the publicist. I planted fake and not-so-fake stuff in DeuxMoi,” just to get it out there, because then more journalistic outfits, likepeopleWill call for comment later.

Having a trusted inner circle is also crucial for those who don’t want to air their laundry, dirty or otherwise. “There were always famous people who were never gossiped about, and there are many reasons for that,” Froelich says. “One is that they treat their staff and other people very well.” Princess Diana was so loved by her staff that they not only helped her get the children out of the palace (to go to McDonald’s) but also her lover Hasnat Khan – reportedly bringing him to Princess Margaret’s door, after she refused to allow CCTV. had done Cameras installed there, and then in the palace. (Charles’ staff was another story.)

Those who do not treat their staff well often find that their secrets are only one lawsuit away from being revealed. Mariah Carey, Victoria Principal, Chris Brown and LeAnn Rimes have all been sued by former housekeepers. Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis, the late Lisa Marie Presley, Usher, Halsey, Alanis Morissette and, yes, Mariah Carey have all been sued by their nannies, some of them (ahem, Mariah) multiple times. And that’s not even counting the people whose staff rated him in the press.

Contrast that with people like Aniston, George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Beyoncé and Cate Blanchett, whose names only appear in the very strategic gossip columns. When you see their names, it’s there for a reason—usually related to what they’re promoting. These types, Froelich says, usually “don’t try to goose the PR pot.”

The inner circle also extends to friends. Take DiCaprio, whose decades-long list of (often much younger) girlfriends seems to be begging for more dirt to be revealed about him. And yet gossip about it is practically non-existent. “He has great friends and has grown up with them his whole life,” says author and digital strategist Winter Mitchell. It’s those close relationships that help keep people’s lives private, Mitchell says. “I have a very good friend who is very famous, and as a friend it’s my duty to give her a level of protection,” she says. Michelle adds that when she counsels this person about revealing secrets, “I make a mental list in my head of who did she tell? So if it gets out, we can find out how it got out. “

The good news is that if it’s possible for even the most famous of us to keep secrets, it’s really possible for anyone. And for the average person who wants to keep his life on the down low, the formula seems simple: keep your mouth shut, your feed sensible, your friends close, and your housekeeper happy.

This story appears in the February 2024 issue town and country. Register now

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