to ask Sorry Not easy. It is an activity that, apart from being unique to humanity, embodies deep meanings. Emotional, Psychological And also culturedSo it must be done in a certain way.
For several decades now, the Middlebury Institute for International Research in MontereyCalifornia, is devoted to examining the psychosocial constructs of forgiveness in different contexts and cultures.
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In general, forgiveness has similar characteristics all over the world. Additionally, some research shows unforgivable elements application More effective in case of commitment mistake.
Researchers have also looked at some symptoms that can help you spot when the job isn’t done right. SincereThe second intention is hidden and is also done outside of commitment.
What does an honest request for forgiveness look like?
First of all, you should understand the difference between asking apology And Sorry. For psychologists, in the first case it refers to reasons that do not always depend on one, when a person admits his guilt when asking for forgiveness.
According to Dr Lisa LeopoldFrom the Middlebury Institute, forgiveness has some universal characteristics, so if you feel the need to do this work, you should do it deeply. reflection To tell that later.
“A 1981 study that is still relevant today identified the following strategies: a expression sorry, belief no lack, explanation Why the situation happened, offer repair And promise There is no repetition.
“Another study found that asking for forgiveness rather than asking for forgiveness recognize The damage is done, they express Repent and offer Compensation They are more effective than those who don’t,” he details.
According to an investigation by University of California, San FranciscoEmpathy and promises of no compensation are key, as they imply understanding of the pain.
What should not be a request for forgiveness?
Dr. According to Leopold, sometimes it’s better Don’t ask for forgiveness rather than doing it badly or unwisely. Fortunately, there are relatively easy ways to detect when a request is not genuine.
“Make a mistake while naming failure Ask for forgiveness for something other than, in particular crime Use the word ‘but’ to continue with real, long excuses or use passive voices.
“Actually, people generally want to be heard belief Error and its Repent In an honest survey, 10 percent wanted compensation, another 10 percent wanted to know how to correct the mistake, but 37 to 40 percent wanted to accept responsibility for the failure and hear their regrets,” he says.
Another way to identify mistakes in a request for forgiveness is to use adjectives that artificially sound “intense.” RepentIn this way the expert also emphasizes to avoid admitting guilt.
