‘Gender detransition’ is a process that involves reliving the sex assigned at birth. This not so common situation is experienced by Emiliano, a young Argentine who after several years of identifying himself with the female gender and even going by the name Milena, decided to turn the page and return to being a man.
It was in January 2016 when Emiliano, then 18 years old, began her transition process to be a woman. The transformation included silicone breast implants, hyaluronic acid in the lips, hiding, hiding her genitals with a ‘trucadora’ (special garment), as well as legally changing her name and gender on her identity document.
His sexuality was defined when he was a teenager, so he told his family. “A boy at school told me what it was like to be bisexual so at 14 I came out as bisexual to my family. He was a quilombo (mess), a revolution, I was the first homosexual person in the family. Later, almost at 17, I directly said ‘enough’. That’s it, I already tried it, I don’t like girls, I’m gay”, Emiliano tells the portal Infobae.
Although he was already clear about his sexual orientation, now doubts arose about his gender identity. Previously, at the age of 15, she had disguised herself as a transvestite. Years passed, and with the help of a friend who did shows as a drag queen, she began to be drag queen
“Milena started out as a character but I immediately found an empowerment that I had never felt before. I felt strong, powerful, I didn’t love myself as much as a man but when I became Milena she loved me”, he comments. “There came a time when she no longer wanted to go back and take everything from me. When the night was over I wanted to continue with my long hair, my bra, my panties, I wanted to continue being that strong woman”.
Finally one day Emiliano gathered all his men’s clothes and put together a pile to give them away. It was on New Year’s Eve 2016 when He stopped being called Emiliano and was renamed Milena. She told the rest of her that she was a trans girl and asked that they start treating her with feminine pronouns.
“I was transitioning little by little, the first year was heavy (heavy), it’s always heavy the beginning. In addition, I did not have the support of my family, at that time everything was quite bad. It was hard, but I did it, I gave it my all. Having boobs, for example, was what I had always dreamed of”.
At the age of 21, he moved from Mar del Plata to Buenos Aires. In the big city he underwent various changes in his body. But there too, given the lack of job opportunities, he ventured into the world escort. He indicates that there were several heterosexual men who paid for his sexual services.
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For five years she was Milena, until one day she began to analyze everything that was bothering her about her new life. “At 22 years old I started to miss being a boy. I miss throwing myself headfirst into the sea and not letting a tit come out here, an egg coming out there, all the hair on my face, drowned. Being trans is complicated,” she said in 2020 on social media.
Thus, she analyzed everything she had to do to look feminine and how she would age. He also said that he no longer wanted to continue surgery or “squeezing my private parts (…) The truth is that I admire women, not to mention trans women. Being a man in this world is much easier, as a boy I was not used to this type of rejection.
In the same video, he reported that he would begin his “detransition” process to return to being a man. “Milena was my life project, my dream. I had reached a very high level in my transition, I felt beautiful, but that beauty had a cost. In femininity everything hurts: clothes, heels. And I came from being a man on legs, in leather and in soccer shorts”, he indicates.
Emiliano assures that he cried a lot because he considers that although he gave everything, he feels that it was not enough. “They never stopped treating me badly, they never stopped treating me like a man when I entered a business”. “It was very frustrating to realize that even if I put on Angelina Jolie’s face it wasn’t going to be enough. There are trans girls who fight against it every day and they put up with it (they put up with it), I got fed up with this fight, I couldn’t take it anymore, ”she points out. (I)