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HomeNewsEmma Amour: The blind date my mother (!) sent me to

Emma Amour: The blind date my mother (!) sent me to




Pedro is a physiotherapist. My mother’s. Because the two get along so well, Mrs. Mama is sure that Pedro is the perfect son-in-law. This is where I come in.

Emma Amour

My mother is blown away. Pedro turned her head. What a fine guy that is, she says. And so tall, attractive, funny. “And then the hands, treasure, his hands can do magic.”

My father laughs. Meanwhile, I wonder if she will burn out tomorrow with Pedro, her physiotherapist. “Much better,” she says. “You’re dating Pedro. I’ll tell you, child, this is one for you. For all of us.”

Mother just catches me on a good foot. It’s summer. It’s beautiful. It’s hot. I’m in a good mood and allow her to give Pedro my number.

I have already forgotten the action when a message reaches me a few days later: It’s Pedro. Pedro sends five Youtube links to the date invitation. These are his favorite songs. I don’t know a single one of them. No song, no band.

I should send him my top 5. I think it’s cool. But hardly dare me. I’m not sure how he stands on Celine Dion, Snoop Dogg, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Salt’n’Peppa and Munich Freedom.

So I keep the chat rather short and suggest that we should see each other soon. And I tell him my top 5 face to face.

Thinks Pedro is good.

We meet on a Friday evening at 8 pm. Dating prime time. I don’t really like it. But for mom it can also be an exception.

Pedro sings! And sing! And sing!

I recognize the physiotherapist from afar. Mom didn’t promise too much. It looks great. Hands are certainly magical. Quickly go through checklist in your head:

Waxing: done (the day before yesterday, super)

Good underwear: so half (easy!)

Last garlic and asparagus consumption: a long time ago (great!)

Really sex on the first date: be open to it

Pedro welcomes me … uhhm … singing. He sings a Spanish song. Sounds nice. Irritates me nevertheless biz. Also because he does not stop after a stanza. Pedro sings and sings and sings. People stop and stare.

It goes on like this. Pedro doesn’t talk. Pedro sings. Pedro sings beautifully. Pedro also dreams of coming out big as a musician. That’s why Pedro takes every chance to sing.

Aha.

Even as a boy he always sang and danced. Dancing is his second passion. “Want to take a look?”he asks. Before I can answer, he puts a dance on the floor. He also sings Michael Jackson. «Smooth Criminal». Good choice. And good moves. And damn good body. And damn weird the whole scenario here.

Then Pedro comes to chat. He wants to know everything about my taste in music. I tell and notice how his face derails after the third movement.

Maybe that’s why I’m single. Women underestimate the power of music, Pedro knows. Women with bad taste in music, that’s even worse than unfeinitious women.

What a pity. Somehow. And somehow not. Now that we both know that this won’t be anything serious anymore, I can easily focus on non-committal sex. Which I do. Only Pedro doesn’t buckle it for a long time. He is too busy introducing me to the world of true music.

He shows me one Youtube link after another. The first stanza he explains the world to me. He sings along with the other verses.

Pedro is, to say the least, rather exhausting.

We continue the game and drink a few drinks. After the third cocktail, Pedro regrets my zero sense of music. “Because otherwise you’re pretty cool and above all very pretty.”

We’re spinning around in circles and I don’t really know how to approach it. Until I get the idea to show him a Youtube link. I choose this one:

Akon ft Snoop dog: I Wanna Fuck you

Sure, quite unoriginal. But this is about sex, not a potential wedding. I smile at Pedro. He smiles back. “Do you mean it the way I have the feeling that there isis that what you mean?”

«I do!»




“Very cool. To you?”

«To me!»

For me, Pedro needs a moment to connect his mobile phone to my infrastructure. Of course, he wants sex with his music. I just want sex with him. In the background, wise artists should give their poetry to the best. Mir wurst.

When the, in my opinion, very dramatic-melancholic music starts, we finally get to the point. And I damn fast to the climax. These hands can really do magic.

After sex, Pedro wants to listen to two or three songs and sing a bit naked. Okay for me. Then he packs his things, presses a kiss on my left cheek and leaves.

As I sit there, I think to myself that I think an affair with Pedro would be cool. However, he does not get in touch. Not a day later, not two, not three. So I take it into my own hands – and get ghosted.

Not bad.

I almost forgot the story when my mother calls me hysterically: «EMMA!», she says very harshly! “What a stupid action with Pedro and this cheap sex song!? That’s not how I raised you!”

I laugh out loud. You zero.

I ask her if her GP is single. Or their insurance person. Or her neighbor. Your investment advisor possibly. Or you something else.

I’m still laughing and she’s still not laughing.

We hang up.

I write Pedro: “You really told my mother in detail about our meeting?”

“She asked. And because she is such an open-minded, I chatted. Don’t worry, I’ve assured her that she doesn’t have to worry. That you have great qualities, wink-wink-wink.”

Ok.

Thanks for nothing.

But no. Thanks for the orgasm. It was really extraordinarily long and good. (Sorry, Mommy!)

Adieu

PS: Emma Amour is now also available as a book!

«EMMA AMOUR AND KID CLEO – Love, Sex and Other Escapades»

Emma and Cleo are available as a book! >>

Sex breakdowns, heartache and crazy dates: No one in Switzerland tells as authentically and bluntly as Emma Amour. Since January 2018, the Zurich native has been letting watson users participate in her life. When she takes a break, her best friend Cleo jumps in.

Emma and Cleo could not be more different, but what unites them: a sometimes fantastic, at times frustrating, but never boring love and sex life.

Here you can order the new book >>

Information about the book
Publisher: watson
Release date: 12.02.2021
ISBN: 978-3-03902-124-6
Cover: soft cover with flap
Volume: 160 pages, 8 illustrations
Format: 13.5 x 21

Book Price
CHF 18.00 (CH)
EUR 18.00 (D)
EUR 19.00 (A)

For even more dance and singing interludes:

Short dance interlude

1 / 6

Short dance interlude

source: imgur

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Emma Amour is …

… City person, single, in her mid-30s – and watson’s blogger, who not only brazably reports on her love life, but also takes care of your questions. And don’t worry: you will remain anonymous with your questions – just like Emma. It is very important to Madame Amour to continue to be able to hop undercover in trainer pants quickly across the street to the Indian.

That's not me, but that's what I would look like as an illustration. Öppe.

That’s not me, but that’s what I would look like as an illustration. Öppe.

image: watson


Arjun Sethi
Passionate guitarist, gamer and writer. Lives for the perfect review, and scrapes texts until they are razor-sharp.
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